My Real Identity is Finally Revealed Thanks to a Movie, Magazine, and Polling

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The other night my wife and I watched the movie Magic Mike, and not surprisingly, I was able to see what all the uproar was about. Men, half dressed, perfect body-fat counts, and dancing. A woman’s fantasy and what 99% of American men will never be able to obtain, the act of being desired. Therefore, it should come as no surprise that when Discover Card (Facebook/Twitter) asked woman which celebrity they wish they could spend a day with at a football party, Matthew McConaughey ranked at the top of the list.

What does come as a surprise is that Mrs. InACents said I could finally reveal my true identity to the InACents’ audience. Sure, my dance moves are killer, and speak for themselves, and I have a fine knack for making unique, custom furniture. I have tried long and hard to conceal our true identities, but it gets tougher and tougher with each day to walk down the street. Yes, my name is Channing Tatum, and I am a construction worker and male dancer.

Discover Fan Loyalty Poll Infographic -- Late Show  Celebrity

When not constructing a table out of car parts, I enjoy fine walks on the beach, cuddling, and sushi. I am one of the normal celebrities still relating to the everyday man. But what is happening to the rest of the celebrity A-List?

The current Discover Fan Loyalty poll revealed some interesting things about the mindset of my fellow brethren. It was good to see those that are unfaithful (from Ashton Kutcher to Lebron James) are at the bottom of the celebrity cesspool. Than again, if the polling was just based on those that were loyal, than it would make no sense why the comedic flop of Jay Leno would rank at the top of the National Anthem list. Far from loyal after the whole Tonight Show fiasco.

Where are all the woman celebrities? Were any men asked questions in this pole? Were they only limited to select celebrity personalities, or were they free to write in any celebrity of their choosing?

As a celebrity myself, I already won People magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive this year, so I was fine not being included in this list. But what about all the lovely female actresses that dominate our field (acting, not dancing)?

I have a new coffee table I need to finish, so please ladies, no more requests to take my shirt off. I have enough real-world problems to work out.

Disclaimer, Mr. InACents is acting the roll of celebrities and is not actually a professional dancer.

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For reference, here are some of the other Discover Card Fan Loyalty Poll results.
Will Discover Card’s College Football Poll Tell the Results of the 2012 Presidential Election?
Discover Card’s College Fan Poll Proves No Loyalty to the Chicken Wing
Being a Couch Potato Could Earn You A $25 Discover Gift Card
Discover Fan Loyalty Evaluates Football Superstitions
Discover Card Asks the Question: Would You Skip Work for Tickets
I Am Betting Everything on Major Changes in Our Lives Over the Next Year

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Discover Card does compensate our family for being an official Fan Loyalty Correspondent, but any opinions are our own.

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