Different Kinds of Envy

There are all kinds of envy.  Things like: new home envy, new car envy, dream job envy, weight loss envy.  This week I realized the WORST form of envy of all…at least for me…is TRAVEL ENVY.  Travel envy is a feeling you may understand if you ever have turned the Travel Channel off in disgust because you are not on a beautiful boat, with a beautiful girl.  In fact you are in the snowiest part of the U.S. and your wife is wearing sweatpants.  That my friends is travel envy.

Have you ever experienced envy for something? I am assuming it is fairly safe to say we all have experienced some type of envy in our lives. It is part of being human, as much as we try to repress the feeling of desire to obtain something better or different. There is envy for things that others may have that you may want. However, today I would like to talk about just one form of envy and my personal vice.

envy (Google definition)
Noun: A feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities, or luck.
Verb: Desire to have a quality, possession, or other attribute belonging to (someone else): “he envied tall people”; “I envy Jane her happiness”.

It all came to light several weeks ago we were asked by my in-laws to take them to the airport for their trip to Florida and a cruise. (Never mind,  at this point, the whole separate discussion that we could have on them taking a cruise the week after the horrible Italian cruise disaster.) I gladly accepted the offer, despite having to do so at 5:00 AM, without even thinking about it because I know they would and have done the same for us.

So I picked up my in-laws, and after dropping them off at the airport and unloading their baggage, it hit me. They were actually leaving on a vacation. This time their bags were packed, and…gasp…I am not going with them. I want to get on an airplane and go on vacation. I was experiencing travel envy, and there was nothing I could do about it. Sure, I have enough miles to get us to where they are going if I really wanted, but we have jobs to attend to. Instead, I had to get back in the vehicle and drive myself home, all the while thinking about the fun our in-laws would be experiencing without us.

Then, to make worst things worse, upon driving home, feeling sorry for myself, wanting to drown my sorrows in sugary confections, I realize that it was also a fiscal fast Wednesday.  Really? Are you kidding me?  On the day my in-laws left in all my grogginess I realized I can’t spend money. Upon thinking about it, that even makes the situation worse, because besides being on the road really early in the morning, wishing I too was flying the friendly skies, I could not EVEN enjoy a piping hot Krispy Kreme or Dunkin’ Donuts.

Anyways, that day got me thinking.  I do not consider either my wife or I as envious people. There are certain people we know who seem like they need to keep up with the Joneses with material things, and then emit really negative jealousy towards people who experience good things. We even occasionally get slack from certain family or friends when they see how much we travel and take our boys. We do not even mention Hawaii around certain people because they can not fathom why we would go for 2+ weeks AND take our kids with us. Just like being back in school, a lot of it comes down to people being envious, and most typically, they do not understand the logistics and how we afford to do the things we do with miles and points. While I openly share any information with people, most people do not have it in them to really grasp the ideas. My in-laws though are slowly understanding and first hand experiencing the benefits of mile and point collecting.  Although we did have the points to go on this trip with them, all our money is going now into a giant fund for Hawaii, not to mention being even better about budgeting and saving.  Besides, lets face it, no one ever says “I have too much money.” Still Travel Envy stings, and I imagine what I would be doing on a tropical cruise right now…

We have determined that the worst type of envy to have is for travel. We are not talking about a jealousy from “how do they afford it” or any other type of envy caused from traditional jealousy. We are talking about a jealousy of really wishing we were with _______ enjoying the moment, capturing the memories. When people we know are on vacation, I daily imagine myself with them, and wonder what they are doing.

Several weeks ago my in-laws were on their bonus trip to New Orleans. My father-in-law loves thinking about us while on vacation, and I know it is because he really misses us and wishes we were there with him. Then, while I am in the middle of my work day, around that 2:00-3:00 hour when you are ready to go home, I get a text that says “sitting in the Acme Oyster House and enjoying a…Christmas Ale and charbroiled oysters.” There it is again. Travel envy. I could almost taste the salty air and the smells of the food.

In a couple of weeks, my sister heads off for a vacation to Hawaii. I have enjoyed helping her with the planning. Even though we will be headed to Hawaii in a couple of months, I know we are going to experience travel envy when they are leaving. There is just something about the entire time someone is on vacation that makes you wonder what they are doing at every moment.

As my in-laws took some time in Florida before their cruise, we were not to “concerned” with their well-being. It was the cruise portion of the trip we were envious of being with them. Then sure enough, my cell phone went off with another text message. “Just thought I’d let you know it’s 72 and sunny.” Really? As if it is not bad enough that it is below freezing back home, and they refuse to turn up the heat in my office, now I have to feel the sun beating on the back of my neck? Travel envy.

As soon as we knew my in-laws were stepping on board that ship, my wife and I began to wonder, “I wonder what they are doing now?” My father-in-law is probably enjoying something nice and yummy. I think we can relate so much to this trip because my wife and I have been on a cruise before, so we can relate to the feeling, the excitement, and the continuous amount of food. I could have been on that ship.