InACents Family Collection

You Can't Buy Brotherhood

A Disturbance to the Brotherhood Force

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We are parents of three boys, and with that comes a lot of testosterone, running, jumping, screaming, and fighting. Sometimes as a dad I feel bad about myself based on the number of times I had to raise my voice to express my concern of a brother beating up on another brother. At other times I am proud with joy at the underlying connection our boys have to each other by their express of concern or love for each other.

Our three boys, as dynamic and different their personalities may encompass, share an incredible bond together that only siblings can understand.

This past weekend was one change in the force that was sort of heart wrenching to experience as a dad.

Our oldest son had his first play date this past weekend with a fellow classmate from his kindergarten class. While the foursome of boys chased and jumped from room to room, it gave my wife and I the opportunity to connect with the friends mom and have some shared adult conversation, which was a refreshing change.

However, the dynamic of the brotherhood was changing. Not necessarily for the bad, but something that naturally happens over time, and the first time I had seen it from a dad’s perspective.

As our oldest son and his friend played together, there was a strong desire of our two youngest to play with their brother and friend. This was not surprising at all, as the boys usually play and can not get enough of each other everyday. However, our oldest son wanted to spend some alone time with his friend. Sadly, our two youngest sons were being pushed aside for friendships.

Our two youngest sons desperately wanted to be with their oldest brother, and it was heart wrenching to watch. They were not used to being told they can not play with their brother.

Quite often we have to tell our two oldest boys to separate and go to other rooms in the midst of a battle. However, this time for separation was not because they were mad at each other, but because at least one wanted to spend time with someone outside of the brotherhood.

Forming friendships is a crucial part of human development, and as great as it was for both my son, my wife and I to connect with fellow people, it was also sad to see a son yearn for his brother.

140825 First Day of Kindergarten

A Dad’s First Day of Kindergarten

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Today was a big day in our family’s household, as we ushered off our oldest son to his first day of full-day kindergarten. Up to this point in his life, it has been the responsibility of my wife and I to shape him into a boy with manners, love, and respect. It was our job to teach him right from wrong, to learn to eat with a fork and not his hands, and to put his shoes on the right feet. To love his family and respect the space of strangers. We showed him about traveling and meeting people, and that fighting with his younger brother has consequences. We instilled that we eat something healthy in the morning before cookies, and that we eat together at the dinner table every night. There are many life lessons still to be learned, and today that process starts to come from someone else too.

Our son is growing up, which is a good thing, and learning to be more independent. It is now time for him to leave the parental environment and be taught by teachers everything he will need to know to grow up into an adult at school.

This dad is excited for the future, and looks his son in the eyes with amazement (and tears) for the future. I am proud of what I think we have accomplished. I also now know what my mother felt at this very moment, instantly connecting me with so many other parents before me. Like so many experiences in life, no one can explain this moment until you have actually lived it.

As we ushered him off to the school bus, I felt nervousness for him, going on a big bus, alone, with kids he has never met before. What must he be thinking? He was excited for the adventure, with his snack and water bottle all ready to go along with his new backpack and clothes, but we are sure there was a little apprehension for the new environment.

As I sit here at work, I picture his curly hair bouncing along as the bus pulls away, taking my son on the journey, as I learn to accept my son is now in someone else’s hands, responsible for teaching him new lessons. I picture him getting off the bus, loaded into school, and being shown the structure of how his days will work from now on. Knowing him, I am sure a girl or two in the class may strike his fancy, and there will be new boys that complement him on his choice of Skylanders backpack.

His teachers are blessings, being able to take so many kids and shape them into little people with new talents and desires.

Millions of parents have been on this path before us. Yet it is a new adjustment for our family, making it hit home a little more today. Tonight I will squeeze him a little tighter and sneak an extra kiss or two in, as I try and get him to tell us about what he learned today.

Take care of him bus driver, teachers, and school personal. I am equally as excited to change as a dad as he is a student. Soon our days will be filled with homework and hearing about his friends. Just let him never forget how much his father loves him and how proud he is of his accomplishments!

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A Valentine’s Day Travel Letter to My Husband

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Hello! Mrs. InACents here wishing you and your family happy travels for this Valentine’s Day!

Valentine’s Day has always been one of my favorite holidays since I was a little kindergartener. I love the corny cards, the wondering what each conversation heart could mean from that special boy, and the colors red and pink everywhere! I have declared Valentine’s Day a household tradition from the first time I celebrated with Mr. InACents, and it has continued on through today when we celebrate with our three boys too. The tradition for our family includes a valentine’s breakfast and a small gift for each member of the family from me. I always break out valentine’s decorations, heart dishes, make heart shaped pancakes, and I even once made bacon formed into hearts!

I usually get the boys a small toy and a small candy item of some sort. For Mr. InACents, I generally get candy or pajama pants or cologne. Here is where we have a problem. Mr. InACents is not a huge fan of Valentine’s Day. Sure he likes the family tradition that I do, but he likes it for the kids. Do not get upset with my dear old, darling, adorable, husband though. He is actually very romantic. Traditional romantic holidays are just not his thing. His thing is anniversaries and other surprises throughout the year.

He always showers me with attention, his own traditions, travel, and a gift or two, for our yearly anniversary and throughout the year. Valentine’s Day is just not his favorite day because of the gimmick it has become. First of all, Mr. InACents does not love corny cards someone else wrote and he has to pay 5 bucks for, and second of all he definitely does not eat chalky conversation hearts, nor does he love large doses of pink like me.

Valentine's Day Quote

So then comes my breakfast. He loves that! There is nothing he does not love about bacon, sausages, pancakes, and fried taters. So breakfast is good with him, but every year I want more! I want to convert him into a true lover of the day of cupid. Make him a true believer of a Hallmark holiday where you should do something a good couple is supposed to do all year long.

How do I convert Mr. InACents into a fan of Valentine’s Day you ask? I wracked my brain. I really did. I thought of the criteria: Mr. InACents likes homemade stuff, he likes creativity, he likes very heartfelt stuff, travel stuff, and most importantly he likes free stuff. Then it hit me, the perfect present, the thing to convert the Valentine’s Day Scrooge into a blubbering, smooching, XOXO, valentine convert. I would write him a Valentine’s Day travel article from me to him! The perfect gift and here it is:

14 Reasons Why I LOVE Traveling with Mr. InACents

1. Our Car Conversations

There is nothing better than hours of time spent in a car with captive children who cannot run wild and who often nap while riding, to finally get a chance to talk to my hubby without the daily grind getting in the way. We talk about frivolous things too. It is fun to talk about where we would live if we could live anywhere, where we dream of traveling, or what we think about certain new top 40 songs. I treasure those times with him, and I often look back on the driving part of long car trips with a certain wistfulness that it was one of the best parts of the trip…yes you can commit me to the looney bin now…I realize I sound like a kook.

2. The Way He Gifts Travel to Me

My husband loves surprises! In the 5 years of marriage and 8 or so years since we started dating he loves to surprise me with travel experiences. He gifted me a trip to Niagara Falls when we were dating. Our first trip to Disneyland included a surprise that my parents were at the hotel to join us. He has sent me on a midnight scavenger hunt ALL around my house on Christmas eve to gather clues that led me to my Christmas gift, a trip to Williamsburg. He has recently taken me all the way to Chicago to surprise me with a tour of the Disney Archives exhibit. It is these things we get to do together as gifts that I will remember the most of my life with him.

3. Seeing Him Experience Travel Though The Eyes of Our Sons

There is nothing more romantic than seeing your husband light up, engage with, and love your children! I think there is nowhere better to engage with kids then when you experience new things together. Even when our family does local travel, like enjoying the art museum, market, or a train ride, my hubby experiences it with my kids and guides them in a way that they can take it all in, learning and goofing off at the same time!

4. Travel Team Work

I love travel with Mr. InACents because we make a great team. People wonder how did we camp with a new born or travel to Hawaii for nearly three weeks with two young kids? It is because of team work. We team up to keep those three little munchkins in line, having fun, and if all else fails at least we were well fed on vacation.

5. Eating

We are foodies. We love travel and trying the local cuisine. It would be no fun if one of us were dieting. Good thing we never are!

6. Disney

What other man would I have found that would agree to a honeymoon in Disney plus many subsequent return trips? Most of all, I love him because he puts up with my propensity to plan Disney trips a year in advance in minute detail.

7. Big Dreams

Both of us have bigger travel dreams than we do for home improvements or career. We like to dream big. I would have never learned to be a dreamer when it comes to where we could go and what we could see in the world, especially with our kids, if it had not been for him opening up my eyes to it.

Travel with him has made me much more spontaneous as well. I have always had trouble being a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of girl until I learned to travel with Mr. InACents.

8. Small Finds

In contrast to big thinking, Mr. InACents also sees the fun in finding a small, local hideaway for a trip idea. There is always something planned in the InACents household.

9. Photos

Mr. InACents takes the most beautiful photos and sees the gorgeous in the everyday things, like light fixtures and signs. The pics he takes of our brood are amazing too! He and I also have very photogenic children together which helps.

10. His Positive Attitude

No trip or outing is ever a flop. We have spent a day in the freezing rain of a pumpkin festival, and we have missed ports-of-call on a cruise ship and never once did he complain. This trait is one of the things that I first noticed about him when we traveled together while still in the dating phase of our relationship. It was one thing that made me fall in love with him. He sure can complain about other people’s driving or how bad our dog’s breath smells. On many a day he can complain like the BEST of them…but he NEVER, EVER ruins a trip with complaining. More than anything he knows a bad day on vacation is better than a good day at work.

11. The Deals

Everywhere we go, you better believe it is cheap, free, or the best deal possible, making it possible to go more places and do more by stretching the average family travel budget.

12. The Rides

From Cedar Point to Dutch Wonderland to the weirdest little parks in the country, we love to see it, ride it, and take the boys to it.

13. The Trains

No one else would be as much fun to ride on 10-20 train rides a year with. With our train obsessed kids I need someone to commiserate with.

14. Mr. InACents Is My Best Friend

I would not want to travel with anyone else! Happy Valentine’s Day to my numero uno travel companion. I love you!

Mrs. InACents