A Disturbance to the Brotherhood Force

We are parents of three boys, and with that comes a lot of testosterone, running, jumping, screaming, and fighting. Sometimes as a dad I feel bad about myself based on the number of times I had to raise my voice to express my concern of a brother beating up on another brother. At other times I am proud with joy at the underlying connection our boys have to each other by their express of concern or love for each other.

Our three boys, as dynamic and different their personalities may encompass, share an incredible bond together that only siblings can understand.

This past weekend was one change in the force that was sort of heart wrenching to experience as a dad.

Our oldest son had his first play date this past weekend with a fellow classmate from his kindergarten class. While the foursome of boys chased and jumped from room to room, it gave my wife and I the opportunity to connect with the friends mom and have some shared adult conversation, which was a refreshing change.

However, the dynamic of the brotherhood was changing. Not necessarily for the bad, but something that naturally happens over time, and the first time I had seen it from a dad’s perspective.

As our oldest son and his friend played together, there was a strong desire of our two youngest to play with their brother and friend. This was not surprising at all, as the boys usually play and can not get enough of each other everyday. However, our oldest son wanted to spend some alone time with his friend. Sadly, our two youngest sons were being pushed aside for friendships.

Our two youngest sons desperately wanted to be with their oldest brother, and it was heart wrenching to watch. They were not used to being told they can not play with their brother.

Quite often we have to tell our two oldest boys to separate and go to other rooms in the midst of a battle. However, this time for separation was not because they were mad at each other, but because at least one wanted to spend time with someone outside of the brotherhood.

Forming friendships is a crucial part of human development, and as great as it was for both my son, my wife and I to connect with fellow people, it was also sad to see a son yearn for his brother.