I never thought it would ever come to this. I have a confession to make that is honestly taking everything in me. I…found…Kentucky to be more beautiful than my native Ohio. There I said it, and I feel free!

After a being in some sketchy parts of Cincinnati during the Underground Tour, and with all of us starving, a friend from home recommended we head over the the Hofbräuhaus House, located over the river in Newport, Kentucky. What a difference a river crossing makes. While I really only got to see the area surrounding the Hofbräuhaus House, I felt more at ease as the neighborhood seemed more tourist friendly than the homeless and impoverished area of downtown Cincinnati.

While the outside of the Hofbräuhaus House, at least coming from the parking lot side seemed nothing to impressive, upon entering the doors, we felt transported across the pond into our native Germany. I am not going to pretend we have actually been to Germany or know anything about what it is really like. We can tell you though from our limited German Pavilion experience at Disney’s Epcot, it felt like the real Germany. We half expected creatures to come alive with animatronics. The live accordion music was playing, and most people were sitting at communal tables in the main dining hall. Other guest requesting a more intimate dining experience could get their own table in the separate dining area.

I know pretty much nothing about beer, and do not drink it, so I will let the pictures do all the explaining about how they brew their own selections. My wife will tell you the beer was of fine, German quality. 🙂

Just outside the Hofbräuhaus House, around back was an ample space for an outdoor beer garden, as well the best views of downtown Cincinnati.

We ordered the home made German pretzel with 3 assorted sauces. As you may be able to tell from the pictures, I could not even get pictures snapped fast enough before starving little hands were diving in for their own piece of chewy goodness. Mrs. InACents ordered the sausage sampler to share after I ordered the Wiener Schnitzel. We have a habit of always selecting the same thing, so we try and get different things to sample different things.

All the food was of fine German quality, and everyone was finely happy. We also ordered their apple strudel dessert to take home, and I have to say it was probably the best strudel I have ever eaten, as evident by the lack of pictures!

Infant Hand Attacks from the Left	Another Toddler Hand Attacks from the Right

Throughout the Hofbräuhaus House they were filled with fantastic German relics, including cages of locked steins, which I am assuming belong to their frequent beer members.

I can only assume the picture of this Hofbräuhaus House was taken in Germany.

Several people were celebrating their birthdays at the Hofbräuhaus House, and in the selected photos below you can notice people doing the chicken dance on the chairs, after we sang Happy Birthday for several rounds. While it would have been cool if everyone, or at least most of the people within the restaurant participated, my wife and I at least partook for the sake of entertaining our children. For some reason Lan-Shark (1) really liked it, and made me pick him up to partake, but Bug (3) I think was too exhausted at that point to want to pull out a chicken wing.

The great thing we learned after we received our bill was that kids eat free certain days of the week, including the Sunday we were there. Ca-Ching! The bad thing, and our only complaint about the Hofbräuhaus House, is smoking indoors is not banned within Kentucky. So do not be surprised when everyone around you is lighting up. After living without people smoking indoors in Ohio for the last several years, it is a little shocking at first to remember it used to be normal practice. Regardless, we took away a great experience from the Hofbräuhaus House, as well as really good German food. We have already made note that anytime in the future we are driving near Kentucky, the Hofbräuhaus House, Newport will be our preferred dining destination.

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The last major event for our family weekend in Cincinnati, Ohio was to go on an Underground Tour, courtesy of Groupon. This portion of the trip was really more for Daddy’s enjoyment than the kids, and that became all too apparent shortly into the tour.

We decided to do a Sunday tour, along with about 25-30 other people. I opted to carry Lan-Shark (1) in around in our hiking backpack and Bug (3) was free to walk with us (provided of course he held hands). After a short introduction from the tour guides, we were on the way.

Approximately 50% of the tour was outside, so plan appropriately as the walk is conducted rain or shine. The weather was slightly overcast with a chance of showers during our tour, but luckily it never rained.

The tour tells the untold history of Cincinnati, which surprisingly focused around the production of the alcohol industry and play houses. German immigrants largely populated the area known as Over-the-Rhine. Walking down Vine Street, we were told the history of how Cincinnati was the Paris of America because brewing was the major industry of the area. As a result, Cincinnati also was the largest consumer of beer in the world, averaging 40 gallons per man, woman, and CHILD!

Then in 1919, prohibition started, and brewing went “underground.”

A portion of the tour also focuses around the four (4) theaters that once existed within the City. One of the theaters, the People’s Theater, housed the original Buffalo Bill’s Wild West Show with Annie Oakley. The tour does not go inside this theater.

While on the tour, you will go inside the old Bellonby building, and once upstairs, you will hear stories of how the world’s strongest man at the time lifted up a 2000 lb. weight, bolted to the stage as a joke, destroying it in the process. In addition, A Rage in Harlem was also filmed within the theater.

This was the first portion of the tour where we had to separate ourselves from the rest of the group because of our kids. Not because they were misbehaving, but because of their curiosity, which may have disturbed some of the other guest. Lan-Shark loved testing out his vocals and hearing the sound echo within the vacant buildings. Bug likes to explore and “stretch his legs.” Therefore, so as not to disturb the other guests, we stayed at the back of the theater/tour and missed a lot of the guides stories.

We also were directed to look at some of the old, abandoned buildings and were told the great history lessons behind each.

	Entrance to the Tunnels

Perhaps the scariest part of the tour is the neighborhood it is operated in. Building after building is old and abandoned, there are homeless and lower income people hanging out on street corners, and several of the people that approached us or walked past us were either drunk or high. From a safety standpoint, I felt very vulnerable and protective of my family. While nothing happened, even though we were within a large group, I could easily foresee something happening because of the area we were in.

Once inside the John Kauffman Brewing Company building, we were led to the basement to access the tunnels. Picture a random hole cut into the floor with stairs no wider than your shoulders and very steep. Now imagine you also have your son in a backpack trying to maneuver down the stairs. While I had no worries about making the decent into the tunnels, it was not the most ideal situation with little kids. Even Bug was a little nervous going down the stairs into the tunnels.

Once inside the tunnels, they were actually quite spectacular! Built by the German out of brick, they were used to make and store beer. The tunnels themselves were massive in size, and go all throughout the City. Our guides informed us they have located about 100 different tunnels throughout the City, and are just now beginning to unearth them.

As you can see in the one photo, there is still large amounts of dirt and debris that they are excavating. While some of it may have fallen into the tunnels from above at access holes, I am assuming lots of the debris might have been hauled in at some point in the past to dispose of extra material, although I can not confirm this.

The designers of the tunnels also incorporated piping into the ceilings, where water was flushed through the system to help maintain temperatures for the beer making process. Remnants of the old pipes still hang from the ceiling.

Once in the tunnels, Lan-Shark again continued to test out his American Baby Idol voice and sing to me, so I missed pretty much the entire tour guides spiel about the history of the tunnels.

We actually left the tour early prior to the last stop since the kids were tired, hungry, and impatient. I also could not hear any of the tour guides with Shark on my back, so it was better to just leave. Unfortunately, it was a 5-6 block walk back to the car, through the same poor neighborhood we had gone through. Only this time I did not have the numbers of the tour group with us. Fortunately, nothing happened, but I not only had Shark on my back, but also Bug wanted me to carry him. So there I was carrying two kids back to the car through a sketchy part of town. Lets just say my sense of awareness was on high alert.

Pros of the Underground Tour

– The tour guides were very good and informed of the history of the tour!
– The Groupon really was worth the cost to experience the Underground Tour, as I do not think we would have done the tour without it.

Cons of the Underground Tour

– While no fault of the tour company, due to the area of the tour, we felt rather unsafe with all the homeless and lower income people around.
– The buildings, while cool to see them in their raw state, did not appear safe by any means, especially with young children.
– Tour guides encouraged everyone to jaywalk across the street instead of using crosswalks.
– Access to the tunnels was limited and not ideal for children, the elderly, or anyone with a physical disability that could not access tight spaces on steep stairs.

I had no idea what to expect with the tours as I had no knowledge of the history of Cincinnati and the tunnels. I would say the tour is probably ideal for those about 7 years of age and up, depending on the level of interest of your children. Although I will say Bug still brings up the tunnels and enjoyed looking through the photos as I drafted this article.

Plan at least two (2) hours for the tour, and where good walking shoes. There are no restrooms located on the tour, so make sure to go prior to departure within the Underground Tour gift shop.

Overall, the entire time I was on the tour, all I could think about was the likelihood of the tour operator getting sued at some point in the future. While they make you sign a waiver holding them harmless, the tour guides even made repeated comments along the lines of well you signed the waiver. At some point when someone either gets hit by a car, or falls through the floor of one of the buildings, I am sure safety will become a new priority of the tour.

Adventures Around Cincinnati

I was also happy to see copies of Adventures Around Cincinnati being sold at the Underground Tour gift shop, which is an ideal guide of other more suitable places you should go with kids when visiting the Cincinnati area. To purchase your copy of “Adventures Around Cincinnati,” visit AdventuresAroundCincinnati.com.

While we were provided with a complimentary copy of “Adventures Around Cincinnati,” all opinions are our own.

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